Like many of you-I love Houzz. It's easy to get sucked in and before you know it, you've been clicking away for an hour. Design crack.

 Last week in their e-mail update, Houzz featured a kitchen with some interesting elements, so I clicked on to read the story. Maybe I never read far enough or maybe I was oblivious, but I saw the comment section for the first time. I was horrified at some of the things I read. Just because you CAN comment doesn't mean you SHOULD! 

Interior design-done well-should be very personal. It should suit the taste and functional desires of the client only. The designer is an interpreter and facilitator. Sometimes the client goal is to make an impression on the outside world, so that must be part of the equation, but as I designer, I understand, I don't live there and certainly the viewers of Houzz don't live there. But the level of comments was outragous. "Ugly", "stupid", "impractical"-- everyone seemed to be an expert on what was right for this family-that they didn't even know! When did people decide that A) anyone else cares about your personal opinion? I doubt the home owners rushed to rip out the 2nd island because cheergirl12 thought the flow was too tight. And when did people decide that B) sharing their every thought was a good idea? It's ok to think something might not be for you, but you don't actually have to post it for the world to see.

I am always surprised when I am at someone's house and they feel the need to apologize for how it's decorated since I am a designer. I go visit people because I love their company. It's rare that my taste is just like someone else's. If I only decorated to please myself-the world would be a boring place. You should never have to apologize for your home-(unless it's dirty-then clean up!) Your personality should shine through. So remember, when you attack another's design choices-you are attacking them. 

The picture above is of Meryl Streep's kitchen in "It's Complicated". Didn't you just love that movie and that house? The director was Nancy Myers who has a wonderful sense of how to communicate "character" through set design. She also did "Something's Got To Give". I absolutely love this kitchen. I want to be there roasting that chicken-and Alec Baldwin can come too! But it could never be my kitchen. Too much stuff, too many surfaces to get olive-oily. So I can appreciate it while knowing it's not what I would do for myself. I would never think to write Ms. Myers and ask her how on earth would a real cook clean those lamp shades.  And I would never critique someone's house in person-unless the purpose of my visit was to help with design. And then there are certainly nice ways of offering suggestions.

The vitriol I see in comments has me shaking my head.   And why get bristly with other commenters over a wallpaper selection? It becomes a little on-line battle, a bit like high school. Has HGTV made  everyone think they are experts? Has Twitter, Facebook, and every site's comment section made us believe that others really care what we think? The 1796 postings to David Brooks NYT column doesn't have him changing his views, so Houzz commenters,  get over yourself. It's just wallpaper!

If you comment here, I will read it or delete it, but please don't copy it to cheergirl12!

Sooo-confession. I "resolved" to do a blog post every week. Well, as you can see today-I finally posted one I wrote in January and now we are 6 months past New Years. I guess I have no future as a media mogul! But speaking of "media moguls", I have been thinking about Martha Stewart lately. We have the funniest card in the shop that mentions Martha's productivity while in prison. There is some truth to the caption-"What the hell did you do today?"

In the 90's there was tremendous backlash against Martha. Many women thought she put too much pressure on them to be everything- bread winner and bread maker. I loved her magazine personally and still use her recipes. I never thought her message was "do it all" but just to do something to make life prettier, more organized, or tastier. But I am afraid, as many people do-we overreacted. Many people have abandoned cooking and entertaining. Some basic housekeeping! But when we fail to include these simple pleasures in our life, we are also failing to pass them to the next generation. We get many young women in the shop who yearn for a sense of traditionalism. They are tired of throw-away consumerism and wish they had their grandmother's things to use and preserve. Furniture that comes with it's own little screw driver and wrench has it place-but usually not for long! 

So pull your treasures out from under the china cabinet and share not only their loveliness but their stories with your young people. MEN AND WOMEN! Teach them an appreciation for fine furniture that will last them a lifetime. Show them how to set a table and make a bed, so they can take these skills to their own homes. That old Junior League cook book, languishing with it's chocolate smears-use it-maybe with your kids!

Martha is having a renaissance these days. ( no-not the Match.com story!) The New York Times recently ran an
article about young people returning to craft. This is the link.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/25/business/media/for-martha-stewarts-new-fans-tattoos-meet-applique.html?_r=0

I love sociology. Why is it the person so many in my generation reviled has become a role model for our children? My assumption is that in this data driven world, we have little that we actually produce. We look at Pinterest and repost the pics, but how many of us are sewing, crafting, or cooking? It's nice at the end of the day to hold something up and say "look what I made or accomplished". 

So be resolved-find one thing a day to make your life a bit sweeter. It could be as simple as a vase of flowers or go all out and make your own limoncello. Find one of your grandmother's plates and let you daughter use it for jewelry. Let your son have free reign in the kitchen to create his own barbeque sauce just in time for father's day. When your head hits that perfectly made bed at the end of the day you can know you have an answer to "what did you do today?"

(Left in my drafts from January 22!)
I don't make resolutions. Maybe fear of failure. However, I try to make goals and keeping up with the blog was one of them. It's the 22nd of January and I am finally getting around to it!

I was thinking last week of the "house" as a character in our lives. Maybe something I read about Downton Abbey, I guess. Some houses are named which gives them a certain personification. We look to them to be our sanctuary-hopefully a bosomy grandmotherly hug awaits us there at the end of the day. But while we "resolve" each new year to lose weight or exercise, we rarely take stock of the place we spend the majority of our time.  As much as I scrutinize my arms, they will never be Michelle Obama's, but if I turn that scruitiny to my surroundings, I can create a place of peace and comfort.

I would like to suggest we use the same self evaluation on our houses. I've seen too many people move in and stop. I am astounded at the number of people who apoligze for their house the minute I walk in.  You would never stop coloring your hair-why would you stop keeping up your house. As Nate Berkus recently said-the best decorating is clean up! Throw out the old magazines. Clear out the clutter and go to Goodwill. Then you can step back and look at paint or deteriorating lampshades.  Look up from the TV and notice the stage on which you have set yourself. Is it you?